March 24th: Finito.

A day can merely be another typical 24-hour for some and mark a life-altering experience for others. For me, today was somewhere in between. Coincidentally, there are a few events to be journalized. They, however, may or may not affect my life in a subtle way.

March 24th.

I screwed up USM paper, like literally. Not gonna completely blame the examiners for swallowing 15 minutes of exam time, I know I didn't manage time well, again. Seriously, luck seldom comes with management papers. For this one time, I really really hope for a 'pass'. 

*Long pause*

March 24th.

My sister is finally officially back to this room after her camping trip. Her absence was good in the sense that I had the chance to test certain things for myself - and got the results I wanted. She went to Singapore Poly before reaching home for some school activity as well. It so happens that SP exam results were out today. Congratulations, Polar Bear! Told ya don't have to worry about your maths.

And I really hope you managed to pass everything.

My hands by Leona Lewis 

Final Fantasy XIII theme song. Again, it was a real happening when the song becomes more popular with the game launching, it describes my feelings and routine best.

Awake in the morning

Tired of sleeping

Get in the shower

And make my bed alone

I put on my make up

Talking to the mirror

Ready for a new day

Without you

And I walk steady on my feet

I talk my voice obeys me

I go out at night

Sleep without the lights

And I do all of the things I have to

Keeping you off my mind

But when I think I'll be alright

I am always wrong 'cause...

My hands

Don't wanna start again

My hands

No, they just don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake it try to break whatever piece I may find

My hands

They only agree to hold

Your hands

And they don't wanna be without

Your hands

And they will not let me go

No, they will not let me go

I talk about you now

And I do without crying

I go out with my friends now

I stay home all alone

And I don't see you everywhere

And I can say your name easily

I laugh a bit louder

Without you

And I see different shades now

(And I) I'm almost never afraid now

But when I think I'll be ok

I am always wrong 'cause...

Sometimes I wake

I see them reaching out for you

Quietly break

Whatever shields I spent so long building up

I cannot fake

'Cause when they cry, I'm almost broken

They miss holding my baby

My hands

No, they don't wanna understand

They just shake it try to break whatever piece I may find

My hands

Your hands

They don't wanna be with us

They will not let me go

No, they will not let me go

March 24th.

Yes, you. It's been one month already. I've had a sufficient dose of suffering, thinking and struggling to move on and get used to the life without you. And honestly, I don't know how you could manage to start even before it ended. Or perhaps you're already so used to back-to-back relationships that your feelings, be it genuine or not, are able to adapt and change direction just like that - faster than the wind. Just my guess, 'cause I'm seriously confused and puzzled. Either way, I ain't typing this out to blame you or pity myself. It's about time for me to be released physically and mentally from our past relationship after being haunted for quite a while. As long as we both know, deep inside, what I did for you and what you did for and to me, it's fair enough to say...

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. When you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person by an emotion link that is stronger than steel. You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power wish them well.

I forgive you.

Quoted from here and it describes exactly what is happening within myself on this very day. I hereby close the book on my part, flipping through the last page that will never come true. What else can I say?

R.I.P. Dick & Pussy 30.04.09 - 22.02.10

Alright, enough said. By the way, this will be my last entry about you in the reminiscence of our sweet and sour past. No matter what happened, thanks for having been in my life and I sincerely wish you well.

Wednesday, March 24th 2010.

Dear diary,

I've finally got over him. And myself...

Peace and happiness.

♥

At the very corner where we used to study the whole night.

I was and will be just fine on my own. (: