Sulky.

Yours truly is feeling screwed. Why? Because its seems like I'm good at nothing. Most importantly, exams are coming near and I keep thinking about how management results of last term will turn out. Suddenly, there's nothing to back my confidence up, even a 91% for a science module doesn't save anything. Really. Like negative thoughts are much heavier on my see-saw today. Hey, I know some of you are smiling and wondering why this girl can get emo over SCHOOL. Yes, the same old crap, but it's just not so simple. I wanna do well and be appreciated in everything I try. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. It may sound too much of a perfectionist but I want it that way (for now at least). Honestly, I can't stand it when things fall out of the very order I've expected. Perhaps it's my very weakness, but it does help me to move forwards in life, keeping me from being an under-achiever, doesn't it? Sigh. What to do? Born with it, been growing up with it, then live with it, though it might bring me paranoid days like this, stumbling over stuff considered trivial by people.

Anyway, had a nice chat with a long-time-no-see friend, someone who never fails to show sympathy and support. Comes to think of it, every person has their own way of making my day I guess. I just have to look through and see it for myself. Likewise, sometimes when I give up my needs to show emotions, to talk about the same old things, to forget about my convenience to cater to the other party's mood, I hope for it to be realized somehow. Yeah, somehow. If not? I'll just shake my head and life goes on. So you ask me what I've done to cater to you? I can't give any answer because goodwill is not to be listed out like counting bananas (right?). It is for me to know (from deep inside), for you to realize and remember.

As for now? Off to bed soon I think. Tomorrow (or today?) will be a good day, he promised me so. Nights. ♥