Early-morning Confession.

It's now 4 in the morning. She's just finished reading 21 chapters of a touching and meaningful love story. With her face filled with tears and emotions, she slowly stands up, leans on the window frame, and keeps staring into the dark as if she's dropped something precious out there.

"Whom does my heart really belong to?", she wonders. Putting a hand on her chest, she can feel her heart jumping a little bit faster when that someone suddenly comes across her mind. Feelings, they're right here, inside her, but she can't explain why they are always too uncertain, too blur for her interpret. Perhaps it was just an incident of two empty hearts meeting each other at the one and only point in time, and is now ready to be gone forever. Or maybe, they two are meant to be together, just that they haven't tried hard enough to carry on what fate's given them.

She does not know.
She does not know how to take the next step.
She does not know what's gonna happen to their relationship.
Somehow, she does not even know him at all.

Yeah... right. At the very beginning, when they were merely friends, her sense never signaled her that he could be the right one. There wasn't any particular chemistry, until that fated day when their two lonely hearts burst out feelings for each other. Nevertheless, having someone to call 'dear' only brings people to heaven in a very short while. After that, as they explore deeper and deeper into every corner of each other, facts will start to be revealed, followed by quarrels, tiredness, and eventually boredom, at least to some extent.

So what went wrong over here? There is an old saying that we should blame ourselves before blaming anyone else. Indeed, it's never failed to be so true. As for her, she knows that she was some kinda perfectionist, demanding, expected and accepted his person in the wrong way. She should have taken a more aggregated view of him, of herself, of every circumstance, and of their relationship. But to be honest, people seldom think that wisely when they're placed onto a certain spot, do they? And so does she... Turning to the second party, which is him, it's best to let him think on his own of where he went wrong, she guesses. She just hopes the never-ending problems occurred do not bring him to the climax of boredom, which might eventually hit a giving up decision.

Then how about her current feelings for him? This time she wasn't fooling around like what she used to do with some previous guys. She was serious, sincere, and put in her whole heart. So it's now not easy, no, it's really tough I must say, for her to break, get over him, and move on with her life. Before making up her mind, she needs to know how much he appreciates herself and her endeavor, as well as what he really wants at this moment of time. In short, she merely craves for a deep and clear conversation with him. Hopefully, he'll be willing and ready to face and talk to her soon.

"Are you having Kitkat dreams?"
"Do I even appear in your dream?"
"How much do you think of me everyday?"
"Drive carefully. And don't put air con too cold so that later you won't get sick. I'm worried for you every single second, you know?"
etc.

I know these thoughts of him keep popping out in her mind, throughout the day, the night, and even during her most untouchable dreams. And if you ask me how it feels like to be in her shoes, yes, I'll absolutely be able to tell you the exact answer.

Insecure.
Puzzled.
Hurt.